Maledicte (post: 1512410) wrote:
Third, I felt so selfish while taking this test. All about how I prefer people to love ME!
Not necessarily. The way we receive love is often the way we also communicate love. Because of that, it's important to understand the way we feel loved, and the way others feel loved.
For example, I want to communicate to my friend that I love her. I put myself in her shoes, wondering, "Okay, what would make me feel loved?" So I write her a long letter all about how wonderful she is, because that's what I would like.
As it turns out, she really loves acts of service and gifts, and doesn't much care for words, so she's disappointed because what she really would have liked is a makeup mag that I made myself just for her, because it's useful and I obviously put a lot of time into it.
In another example, I come home from work and my husband has done the dishes and cooked dinner, but he never once tells me I'm beautiful and he doesn't know what his life would be like without me. I do not feel loved. Is this reality? No. He loves me. He's communicating that; he's just using a language I don't use. But if I don't understand my own love languages, then I might feel hurt and unloved and not be sure why.
So it's important to understand one's own languages, so that one can understand one's reactions and interactions with others.