I dont' usually ask for prayer...but I guess i just wanted talk about it.
I know I am not the best Christian and that i will never be. I am asking for prayer to help me in my Christian life. Often times, i see my life as a struggle between two people: my old, carnal nature and my new, spiritual nature. It seems as though they are constantly battling each other for control...and more often times than not, the new one is losing. One clear area of struggle is my pride. i was born proud and arrogant. i know i am supposed to be humble, but this does not come naturally to me. So, for me, humbleness has always been a conscious decision for me, something i have to force myself to do. As a result of my pride, i tend to be ...vengeful, and i always have to restrain myself from hurting others...especially my family. Another area is an attraction to pain, hurt, anger...that sort of thing. I seem to like pain and am always looking for it...in music, in movies. I enjoy fighting for its own sake rather as a means to further a cause, and i beleive that is wrong.
Don't get me wrong- i know that i am not the only one. I know that i am just another soldier with the same battles - stuff that everyone goes through. I just wanted to tell someone...so thanks for listening.
if you pray me , thank you
God bless.