The Promised Kingdom

[FllMtl Novelist]

Hi guys! This is my idea for a story I’m working on and hoping to publish one day. My story is Christian fiction, but it’s not going to be clichéd—it’s got drama and action and romance and humor and mystery and thrills and a bunch of other cool stuff in it, too. I’m hoping to make it appeal to as wide an audience as possible, to increase the number of people that will read it and come to know God and His Word. It’s going to be awesome.

My story follows an average teenaged white Jesus-loving girl named Christi as she moves with her dad and younger brothers to a new town following her mom’s death. There she meets Paul, a fellow white teenager who is handsome (but not like “omg he’s so hawt!!111”) but an atheist. Shortly after the two become 100%, super platonic friends (they don’t have feelings for each other) God sends them through a portal into a mystical land, called The Promised Kingdom. The Promised Kingdom is completely strange and different from any other fantasy land. It’s filled with unicorns, evil magicians and witches, trolls, elves, orchs, and other fantastical creatures. It is a land of kings and princes, where men work in the fields or government and the women stay home to cook and raise children. In short, it’s the world as God originally intended.

On the journey to get back home, Christi and Paul learn about life, love, and, most importantly, Jesus.

My characters:

Christi Mary Jones—my heroine, whose life goal is to be a worship leader’s wife. She’s the main character and really awesome and spunky and driven while still being obedient to her parents and submissive to her romantic interest.

Paul Smith—my hero, who is an atheist that feels empty inside. He became an atheist after his mom’s death.

Lewis—an angel that accompanies Christi and Paul on their journey. He’s not as smart as most of his angel peers, and most of them judge him for it. He’s sent with Christi and Paul to chaperone because none of the other angels wanted to do it.


I don’t have much planned out yet, but by the end Paul will have had his cold heart softened and converted through Christi’s incredible and selfless love for him. (My theme in this story is one of redemption.) In future books (I have four sequels planned so far), Paul goes on to becoming a serious Christian, learning guitar and becoming a worship leader.

Sooooo whaddaya think????

[Mr. Hat'n'Clogs]

This sounds so cool! It's amazing to see you do such good work for God in such a cool way! I'm praying that this'll turn out really well!!!!!!

[Davidizer13]

You should move to Japan so that you can make it into a manga, because the only stories worth reading are made into mangas. Plus, Christi sounds so kawaii, like the woman I would enter into a courtship relationship with (with her father's permission) so we can have a bus full of wonderful homeschooled Christian children.

Also, is there going to be magic in this? I don't think God would appreciate that very much if there were magic, because that would be sinful, and if there is I don't think I'll be able to talk my mom into letting me read it.

[Ante Bellum]

I think you need anime drawings for this story.

[Vii]

ZOMG i jsut had 2 draw sum of my best art for tihs story its so kewl!!!

[DaughterOfZion]

OMG VII. WHY AREN'T PEOPLE PAYING MILLIONS FOR YOUR DRAWINGS?!? FU WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE AN ILLUSTRATOR LIKE YOU.

[Mullet Death]

Christi is my dream girl in every way except she's not Asian and probably can't cook.

[Xeno]

Christi is my dream girl in every way except she's not Asian and probably can't cook.

You assume that asians can cook. I wouldn't want an asian waifu because they cannot drive.

Fu, as an atheist I full endorse your representation of Paul. It is things like that, that cause us to lose faith. This will be a marvelous book. Needs more manga though.

[Atria35]

Edit, missed the point.

I love the illustrations.

Needs more Jesus.

[mechana2015]

Atria, note that this is in the goof off section.

[silvanis2.0]

Definitely thinking Vii should be your illustrator.

[Mullet Death]

Christi is my dream girl in every way except she's not Asian and probably can't cook.

You assume that asians can cook. I wouldn't want an asian waifu because they cannot drive.

You misunderstood. She's not asian AND she can't cook. Two seperate strikes. Doesn't matter if Asians can't drive. Women can't drive in general. I'm fairly certain the Scriptures make that perfectly clear.

[Ante Bellum]

I wrote you a fanfiction! I think it's my best writing yet, so I hope you like it!

[Xeno]

Touché. Though lets not forget those racial purity scriptures either. We can't be crossing bloodlines. Just stick with Christi, it's in the Divine Plan.

e: if you want to know how I know what is in the divine plan, atheists get to peer into the book (actually it's just a yellow legal pad that says "good ideas and stuff") once every eight months.

[Xeno]

[PandaPop]

Women can't drive in general. I'm fairly certain the Scriptures make that perfectly clear.

As a woman I shall prove this stereotype wrong by telling you a story about how I passed my drivers test even though I ran a red light, wait what was the stereotype again...

ZOMG i jsut had 2 draw sum of my best art for tihs story its so kewl!!!

I approve of the "un-kempt non-Christian hair" lol

[Yuki-Anne]

I also approve of the v-neck. Eventually he'll change to a white and/or black v-neck with more of a plunge to it, because that's what worship leaders wear. Also, I noticed the absence of stubble. I approve of this, because unkempt hair AND stubble, combined with a chest-hair revealing v-neck, are also the clear marks of a worship leader.

I also approve of the overall whiteness of your characters. As we all know, Jesus was white. The reason he never married was because he was the only white man in all of Judea at that time, and as we all know, God hates it when you marry outside your race. Stick to your own kind, as God intended.

[Yuki-Anne]

Additionally, I have a question: Is this story going to be narrated in the first person? And will your heroine be constantly bombarded with the attention of all the males, regardless of whether they would actually believably even notice her under normal circumstances?

Also, is she dying of a terminal disease? Because that adds, like 100 points to the holiness factor. In fact, I have the best idea for your story: have what'shisface be an irredeemable bad boy who falls for her over the course of doing a school project together or tutoring or something, but then have her be like, "Promise you won't fall in love with me." Which sound stupid, but when he actually does and finds out that she's dying of cancer or leukemia or syphilis or psoriasis or something, he decides to marry her and stuff.
Plus, is she a PK? And does she wear a lot of overalls? Because that would make it even better. And have her be played by some pop star like Miley Cyrus or Lady Gaga or something.
I can totally picture this is a movie that Christian girls will watch at all their slumber parties.

[Ante Bellum]

Look, your fans are even cosplaying now!

[DaughterOfZion]

fan art of christi and paul in a TOTALLY CHASTE AND COMPLETELY HOLY SIDE HUG!!!!!!!! also there angel lewis is there to cause he approves and to guard them from lust and we all know people of the opposite sex need to have a pure adult watching them at

ALL TIMES

!!!!!!!!!

Plus, is she a PK? And does she wear a lot of overalls? Because that would make it even better. And have her be played by some pop star like Miley Cyrus or Lady Gaga or something.
I can totally picture this is a movie that Christian girls will watch at all their slumber parties.

and you call yourself christian! EVERYOUNE NOSE LADY GAGA IS OF SATAN! and miley cyrus is a horrible unmodest role model!!!!!
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:<

[Vii]

As per suggestion of Yuki-Anne: Worship Leader Paul and Overalls Christi!

By the grace of God his guitar is held up without a shoulder strap

[Mr. Hat'n'Clogs]

I think you should do another pre-Christian picture of Paul playing bad secular music with a guitar strap so you can show his deep character growth.

[Yuki-Anne]

As per suggestion of Yuki-Anne: Worship Leader Paul and Overalls Christi!

By the grace of God his guitar is held up without a shoulder strap

That is the most realistic and moving depiction of chest-hair I have ever seen.

I think you should do another pre-Christian picture of Paul playing bad secular music with a guitar strap so you can show his deep character growth.

"When you strap that guitar around you shoulder, the coals of hell more strongly smoulder."

[Ante Bellum]

Thanks to my heathen-y ways, I believe I am best suited to draw atheist Paul or, as I like to call him, Fall!Paul, because he is fallen. Note the guitar strap, showing that he does not have the holy ability to levitate ACOUSTIC (because rock and roll is evil!) guitars and instead must rely on earthly materials to hold up his ELECTRIC guitar. Also pay attention to the incredibly warm and comfortable turtleneck which is certainly NOT a v-neck, his healthy, thick hair, and his clean-shaven face, all signs of an atheist. Unfortunately, I am not able to draw Christian Paul (or, because he stands tall in Christ, Tall!Paul), because chest hair pains my heathen eyes.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Lololol I almost fell for it but then I realized what was going on here.

[SilverToast]

DAT chest hair doh.

I'm tempted to make an rpg parody of this now. So much potential. XD