First few lines of my epic, "Sin of Pantera"

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

First few lines of my epic, "Sin of Pantera"

Postby Animus Seed » Mon Feb 05, 2007 7:37 pm

Introduction

Apparently, there are cryptic references in the Talmud and other first century writings referring to "Jesus of Nazareth, the sorcerer who founded the Christian cult and was the illegitmate son of a Hebrew peasant girl and the Roman solider Pantera."

If true, this would completely invalidate Christianity, wouldn't it?

...or would it?

This soldier Pantera is referred to enough that it made me start wondering: "Who's Pantera, anyways?"

Besides the above, along with some Virgil and Tacitus, very little historical research went into the writing of this story. I'm just trying to answer the question, "Who's Pantera?" to my own satisfaction. Beyond his name, I don't know anything else about him, though I assume he really lived. Whether or not he was the son of Dura, son of Remus, son of Laomedon, son of Hellenus, I don't know. I just made that up.

If I can somehow explain how Pantera could be referred to as "Father of Christ" without being blasphemous, I am successful.

The name "Pantera" is Latin for "panther." In Miltonian fashion, I am also (technically incorrectly) implying the use of the words "Pan-" (Greek; "all") and "terra" (Latin, "Earth") so that "Sin of Pantera" also means "Sin of All the Earth."

Pantera's sin is proclaiming, "I am the father of Jesus of Nazareth!"

Now a Roman probably can't be expected to think of it as such, but Christians know that Jesus' father is YHVH. So, by saying, "I am the Father of Jesus!" Pantera effectively declares, "I am God!" (Note the "I am") This, naturally, is the Sin of All the Earth. After all, wasn't that Adam's sin? The serpent said, "You shall be like God."

"In Adam's fall, we sinned all."

Through Pantera's sin of lust for Mary, I hope to play that out a little more fully.
Image
Kyrie eléison.
User avatar
Animus Seed
 
Posts: 430
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:58 pm
Location: California

Postby Animus Seed » Mon Feb 05, 2007 7:52 pm

I have come to amuse you,
with the stories and songs I tell.
Behold, I shall tell you a tragedy.
Who are you, Pantera?
What manner of man were you,

hero of Roma, exalted father?
For all the world has heard of your son.
His name endures forever,
but your name is less known.
So. I shall tell your story, for it is ours.

When Pantera walked
along the golden streets
of highest exalted Rome,
he walked in full array,
sword and armor at the ready.

His feet were shod
with straps of leather,
burnished bronze was upon
his back and breast.
His buckler rested on his arm.

His sword was sharp enough
to cleave a god in two.
The blade was black, forged
in the fires of Caesar’s pyre.
By blood it was unstained.

The hilt of the sword displayed
the face of a panther,
carved in ivory,
its white face in contrast to the blade.
It bared its teeth, in perpetual roar.

Behind the roaring head,
the panther’s sleek white body
spread out, carved in mid-pounce.
The wild cat held out its claws
unsheathed.
Image
Kyrie eléison.
User avatar
Animus Seed
 
Posts: 430
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:58 pm
Location: California

Postby Photosoph » Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:22 pm

I really liked how you explained the idea for your epic in your first post. The idea of 'Father of Jesus' = 'God' comparison to people believing they're God caught my interest. I hope you state that somewhere in your epic; it's a very interesting concept.

I hadn't heard of that myth spread by the Jews before (just a random fact) reading your post. I know it says in the bible that they spread rumours about his disciples stealing his body... but I hadn't heard that one about the false father.

So far your epic reads well, and I really like your descriptions. The part where you metaphorically describe the sword as a panther was brilliant. Good choice of words, and excellent sentences. An off-beat sort of rhyming scheme, which I'm not the fondest of, but that's just personal preference on my part. ;) :P

Very good. Have you written more?
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby Animus Seed » Tue Feb 06, 2007 10:03 pm

Photosoph wrote:I really liked how you explained the idea for your epic in your first post. The idea of 'Father of Jesus' = 'God' comparison to people believing they're God caught my interest. I hope you state that somewhere in your epic]

I won't "state" it; that's the whole point of the story so every word is supposed to work towards that point. If you want it explicitly, though, it should be easily seen at the end... when Pantera talks to Jesus at the crucifixion. (Do I have your attention yet? :) )

I hadn't heard of that myth spread by the Jews before (just a random fact) reading your post. I know it says in the bible that they spread rumours about his disciples stealing his body... but I hadn't heard that one about the false father.


I wouldn't classify it as "myth spreading by the Jews" since we're talking a few decades later, and also Roman sources have the same idea. But it was kind of the accepted explanation for the miracles Jesus did.

So far your epic reads well, and I really like your descriptions. The part where you metaphorically describe the sword as a panther was brilliant. Good choice of words, and excellent sentences. An off-beat sort of rhyming scheme, which I'm not the fondest of, but that's just personal preference on my part. ;) :P Very good. Have you written more?



Off-beat?

*reads over again*


:wow!:

It actually rhymes a bit!! That was an accident... I mean, yes, I am a genius, aren't I? ;)

Actually, it's really just supposed to be prose. I hit "enter" when I want the idea of a line to stand apart on its own.
Image
Kyrie eléison.
User avatar
Animus Seed
 
Posts: 430
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:58 pm
Location: California

Postby Photosoph » Wed Feb 07, 2007 12:31 pm

Yes, you do have my attention now. :) Meeting at the cross? Wow. I look forward to that part.

Ah, I see. So it's another 'accepted explanation' from just after Jesus' time.

D'oh! Used the word 'rhyming' when I meant 'rhythm'. :sweat: Heh heh... but yeah, that's prose. More free than constrained to certain rules or schemes. ^^
...Yes! True genius! :lol:
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 30 guests