Legend of Zelda: Hyrule is bad again.
It's a positively beautiful thing to behold. The writer claims to be new to the English language (which is his excuse for writing with unspeakably awful grammar, spelling, and writing skill in general). I find this hard to believe, however, as I've glanced over a few of his other fics as well, and he seems to be doing this simply for humor. The genre he labeled it under is Action/Adventure/Fantasy, but really, you can tell the guy just wanted to spoof horrible fanfiction. Does that count as trolling? I'm not sure, but it is funny.
I think my favorite line from this story is this:
Ten the moon said "RINK WHER YOU GOIN" and Rinks ears went pointy in surpsise.
Eloquent, isn't it? If you love Zelda and need a laugh, please, by all means read this short fanfic. And if you wish to read the author's other material, check out his profile at http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1047027 .
The story itself can be found at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3322039/1 . However, for your convenience, I will also post it here. Enjoy.
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Legend of Zelda: Hyrule is Bad Again
200 hundred years after Wind Wacker Old Zelda was old and getting dead. Black poofs came from the sky and went down and made everyting black and smoky. The world was sad and crying and wanting no badness and wanted it to go away. Link was dad and went up to heven aftir so no one was goig to save Hyrule. But yes there was maybe becaus people thinked the elfs died but there was one that was Rink.
All elfs died after Twilite Prinsess in a bad rain storm and they drownd. Rink didnt tho becaus Rink could swim good. Wen Rink heard people sad and crying "Halp pleese some body!" Rink herd and went to Hyrule on a hors Speedy was its name. Speedy clop clopped like fast wind to Hyrule and stoped and walked in town gates.
All towns people sayed "LOOK AT HORSE SPEEDY AND ELF THATS AN ELF!" real out loud and people looked. No towns people saw elfs in about a long time so it was strang and new to them. Elfs cant talk so Rink standed on thw horse and Rinks eyes smiled in happyness. Speedy sayd "Urfhgngn!" like a horse does and clopped its feet down. Old Zelda came down on weelchair from a castle and zoomed down ramps to go quick. It sound like "ZOOM" wen it went by then Old Zelda stopped at Rink and whisperd "help us Rink" in old people voice.
Rink moved head up and down then dived off Speedy n landded with a hand stand then Rink put both feets on ground. Old Zelda told Rink what happend like "Gannon came and lauffed and made fire and burn on mountin go on Speedy to mountin n kill Gannon plees Rink we sad n i mite die i'm old" then Rink looked sad and water left Rinks eyes and Rink dived on Speedy n left to mountin tops.
Speedy clop cloped fast then died so Rink walkd rest of way. "good by Speedy" Rink sayd with his eyes. THen it was night oclock so it got scary and mistery and black and screamy and sekeltors came out of ground with "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"s and Rink dived with a sword and cut skeletors in there ribs and they died again. Ten the moon said "RINK WHER YOU GOIN" and Rinks ears went pointy in surpsise. Moon in the sky shot litning bolts down to Rink and got him almost but didnt.
Rink didnt know how to fight moon so Rink sat in grass n wait for someone to help. Then some one did and it was a fairy called Twinkers" and Twinkers shot the Moon with dust and it slept and fell down from sky and sun came up. "You need to be carful!" Twinkers said like a fairy to Rink. Rink said "yes" up and down with head.
Rink gots tired so Rink rode on the fairy to mountin tops. "You to big!" fairty Twinkers said with laughs. Wen Rink got almost close to mountin a gorgon walkd by and Rink knew what it was so Twinkers and Rink went in teh cave with Gorgons in it to talk with Gorgons.
But then the mountin blew up and Gorgons died and Rink was trapped!
to be continued...?
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DISCLAIMER: I'm not sure if it's okay or not to post other people's work, even if you absolutely are not claiming it as your own. I'm sorry if this is against the rules, and I meant no harm by it! Please don't hurt me, admins and mods!! *cowers*
Oh my gosh! Now we know more about the Zelda timeline and how Oot, MM, TP, and WW all tie in together! It all adds up now!! 