Infinite

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Infinite

Postby Nami » Sun Dec 24, 2006 6:43 am

YESS!! I have finally completed the first chapter!! I will be posting it to my website too! So please have a look if you don't wish to read it here! Thank you much!

Ok, here is what the story is about, A christian girl named Arin Satsuki, she is the smart girl of her class, also refered to as the 'Nerd' most of the kids don't like her, but thank to God and her best friend Ula, she manages just fine.

One day Arin hears about a concert for some band called 'Infinite' she didn't really care much, but her friend (A huge fan!) drug her to the concert. Arin enjoyed it, more so than she thought she would, but the next day at school, two transfer students come, and they are no other than two of the singers from the band 'Infinite' Arin doesn't know what the LORD has in store for her, but she hopes that she won't have to befriend these snotty and rude boys. Little does she know she is one of the people God has intended to use to help the boys.

Sorry not all her thoughts are in Italics.. gotta go! Enjoy! when you see '' those are her thoughs. Just to let you know ^^

<.><.><.><.>



Chapter one: New Students

The alarm rang off in the house and a groggy girl sat up in bed. She glanced around and groaned, “I don’t want to wake up!â€
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Postby Nami » Sun Dec 24, 2006 6:43 am

<.><.><.><.><.>

“Do I need to dress up for this?â€
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Postby Anna Mae » Sun Dec 24, 2006 1:46 pm

Well, the setting doesn't seem probable, but nevertheless I find myself interested in the story. My main interest is anticipation of learning more about the protagonist.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Postby Nami » Mon Dec 25, 2006 8:39 am

Thats the whole point! That could never happen, which is why it's very cool!! ^^
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Postby Anna Mae » Mon Dec 25, 2006 11:03 am

So I see. Carry on.

Oh, another question: Do you consider yourself to be in an "Arin?" By that I mean to wonder if you are the smart, nerdy girl in your class.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil

Postby Nami » Mon Dec 25, 2006 3:56 pm

Hehe

Umm, I actually was, I was the girl people turned to for help most of the time.. so I guess I was kinda an 'Arin' XD
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Nami
 
Posts: 739
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:26 pm
Location: Sitting in a tree, waiting for you. *sinister grin*

Postby Nami » Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:46 pm

IGnore this..
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Nami
 
Posts: 739
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:26 pm
Location: Sitting in a tree, waiting for you. *sinister grin*

Postby Nami » Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:46 pm

Ignore this..
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
User avatar
Nami
 
Posts: 739
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:26 pm
Location: Sitting in a tree, waiting for you. *sinister grin*

Postby Anna Mae » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:18 pm

The character development of the rock stars is interesting.

I am puzzled by Arin's erratic mood swings, especially since the characters indicate that she would usually be stable.

I have a suggestion to make your story a bit more readable. You often stick several sentences together with commas in between. Try to break those apart.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
User avatar
Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil

Postby Nami » Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:48 pm

I know.. Arin is to moody, I will be re-writing the second chappy.. trust me.. she will be better.. She is the kind of person who doesn't lose her cool.. I felt that too.

Yesh. Thankies ^^ I will definately keep that in midn ^^
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Nami
 
Posts: 739
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:26 pm
Location: Sitting in a tree, waiting for you. *sinister grin*

Postby Nami » Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:53 am

Alrighty! Well, it's been a while, and it took me forever! And it's only 5 pages long on Word.. but I hope you enjoy it!

Infinite Chapter 2!!

Arin walked down the sidewalk the next day, making her way to school. Arin smiled as she saw Ula run up to her, "Hi!" her best friend greeted.

"C'mon! Your slow Arin!" Ula taunted trying to get Arin to run faster.

"Oh really? Well, I can't run in this uniform, and neither can you.. or else your skirt will fly up." Arin chuckled as Ula glared.

"Well Ula don't just stand there! We better hurry!" Arin snickered and began to speed walk.

Ula laughed and walked with her. Both of them in a race to get to school first.

<.><.><.><.><.>

They reached the school and continued their race, Arin was laughing uncontrollably and so was Ula. Reaching Arin's classroom, Ula broke off from her.

"Bye!" Ula waved.

"Bai-Bai!" Arin waved and went into her class.

"I see you were having a good time." The sensei said with a chuckle.

Arin grinned widely, "Oh yes, to much fun!" she spun and sat in her seat. Afterwards the bell rang and student's filed into the classroom.

Damion and Makoto took their seats, next to and behind Arin.

She grinned; this was going to be a good day. 'Yes! It will!'

During class Damion began to rock his seat with his feet on the back of her chair. Arin chuckled and turned in her seat, "Please remove your feet before I remove them for you." she grinned. It was a grin that said: "You are not ruining my day."

Damion slowly took his feet off. "You lost the glasses." he noted and smiled. "You look better." he shrugged and ran a hand through his blue hair.

Arin blinked, "Don't try and butter me up." she turned back around leaving Damion a little shocked.

<.><.><.><.><.>

"Satsuki-chan!" someone called out and ran up to her. A boy with white hair and green eyes.

"Ah, Kaien-san, I told you. Call me Arin!" She chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Gomen, but Arin-chan sounds weird.." he muttered glancing away from her.

Arin sighed, "Ok, call me Satsuki-chan." she smirked as he grinned.

"Now what's up?" she asked as they walked down the hall together. "I was wondering if you were going to come to youth group Sunday night. You didn't attend last week." he said running his fingers up his backpack strap.

Arin looked at her watch, "Yes, I know, I am sorry. I was really busy." she shrugged and smiled at him. "I promise to go"

Kaien nodded, "Good, well I will see you there! Bye!" he rushed off trying to make it to class in time.

She chuckled and went into her next class, yes today was a good day.

<.><.><.><.><.>

"Your not serious?!" someone almost shouted. "SHH!" hushed his companions. "Aw man.. what are we gunna do?! We can't cook, and we certainly can't clean."

"Oh shut it! We will find some way to get around this."

"Ugh.. I hate burning food.. and the smell of it." the sound of disgust was evident in the person's voice. "Well, we will have to deal with it for a while! Cool it ok? He isn't leaving yet."

"Yeah but.."

"But nothin! Shut it!" the other person snarled.

"Sheesh.. OH HEY!! I KNOW!" the boy snapped his fingers, "Let's hire a maid or two.."

Silence.

"What? It's worth a shot."

"Fine, if you can 'Magically' find someone to help us, then we will never doubt you again." Sarcasm dripped from the other boy’s voice.

"Yay!"

<.><.><.><.><.>
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
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Postby Nami » Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:54 am

Arin sighed, "Ula, I already told you! There is nothing going on between me and Kaien." Arin muttered as she pushed her books into the locker and closed it. "Aw! I think he likes you though." Ula wiggled her eyebrows.

Arin chuckled at her friend, "So? I mean, he is cool.. but. I am not interested in him."

Ula pushed her bottom lip out in a pout. "Man, I was so hoping.." she muttered. Arin smacked her friend and continued to stroll down the hallway and towards the school's exit. "Well, my mom is picking me up today." said Ula glancing at her watch. "Bye." she hugged Arin and ran off, bursting through the doors to the outside.

Arin waved and continued to walk slowly. It was when she had time alone that she began to think, 'I wonder, maybe Ula is right.. what if Kaien really does like me.' Arin tried not to think about it.

'No! I can't assume that..I..I can't.' she shook her head and cleared the thoughts from her head. As she was recovering from her thoughts she heard someone shout out her name. Arin ignored it at first, but then it came again:

"Satsuki-san!!!!"

Arin looked up at the person who was charging towards her. 'Oh man. What the heck does Jinkei-san want?' she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "What?" she asked.

Damion panted, "Hey, I need to ask you somethin.." he was bent over, leaning on his knees and breathing hard. "Are you in need.." he paused. "Of a job?" he looked up at her from under his bishie cut hair.

Arin shifted the messenger bag so that the strap was now going from one shoulder across her chest and to her hip.

"Well, I don't have a job..and I did want to get one soon." she paused thumbing the strap of her bag.

"Why?" Arin asked looking him in his sky blue eyes. He looked straight back at her; he slowly stood to his full height from his bent position. "Because, we need a maid to help cook. Details will be explained later." he grinned.

Instantly Arin's face dropped, "Pass." she held her hand up as she said it. Damion moaned, "Aww! Come on Satsuki-san!"

"Ask someone else." she said and brushed past him in annoyance. "Please!!" his begging voice made her stop in her tracks. Arin gritted her teeth and then asked: "Have you asked anyone else?"

"Yeah, every freakin' girl in out class, and they said they can't..." Damion's voice got more and more pathetic as he spoke. Arin closed her eyes in frustration. "Fine." Arin agreed before she knew what she was doing.

"REALLY?!" Damion shouted with joy and ran towards her, he wrapped his arms around her in a hug and squeezed her tightly.

"GAK!" Arin let out as Damion hugged her. "Thank you so much Satsuki-san!! Thank you!" he let her go and dashed from the school.

And just as he did, Arin had to wonder what she had gotten herself into.

<.><.><.><.><.>

"Oh dear, Damion.. you seem a little to happy." A boy said who was standing with Makoto.

Damion smiled smugly, "That is because.. I found us help!" he grinned ear to ear. "Two?" Makoto asked crossing his arms, knowing

full well that Damion had sidestepped that note. Damion's grin fell, "ACK! I gotta catch her and ask her if she has a friend!" before Damion could go running off, the other boy with Makoto grabbed his shirt, "Forget it, ask her tomorrow doofus." he muttered and pushed Damion into the car.

"Right, good idea." he smiled

<.><.><.><.><.><.>

Arin walked home slowly, she stared down at the sidewalk. 'I wonder.. why Jinkei-san needs someone to help cook.' Arin sighed, "What a strange boy." she muttered. Suddenly she bumped into someone. "Oops, I am sorry." she backed up and bowed.

The person turned; "Nah, it's ok." he smiled. Arin instantly recognized him, 'He is the one from school..' she smiled. "I have your handkerchief." she paused and pulled it from the bag. "I know you told me to keep it, so I did, and I washed it for you. Now it's clean." Arin held it out to him.

"Ah, thank you." he smiled and took it. "Hey, do you feel like some Ice cream?" he asked looking at the Ice Cream shop behind her. Arin winced, "Well, I am not really allowed to go anywhere with strangers." she shrugged. "Ah, I understand." he smiled.

"Your a good girl. Maybe some other time?"

Arin sighed, "Well, if I could somehow get in contact with my mom then I would be able to.." she paused. "Ah, I have a cell." the man pulled it out and handed it to her.

Arin nodded as thanks and opened it, she dialed in her home phone number. "Hello Mom. I was wondering if I could stop and get some Ice Cream with a friend." she waited.

"Ok, thank you Mom, I love you. Uh-huh, God Bless." The mans eyes popped open a little as she said God Bless. They returned to normal when she closed the phone and gave it back to him. "Thank you." Arin said. "Not a problem, now, shall we?" he bowed at the waist and let his one arm out for her to go.

Arin chuckled, "Sure." she walked forward and went to the ice cream shop.

<.><.><.><.><.><.>

"So your leaving for a month to America?" Arin leaned back in her seat and watched him for a moment. He nodded, "I am, I have some business there. I need to handle it before I continue with life." he looked down at the table avoiding eye contact. Arin winced, she had touched a wound.

"Hey, I never did learn your name." she changed the subject, his eyes met hers. He smiled. "Ah yes, I am Shinjin, Ryan." he nodded. "And you? I never learned yours.." he smirked. Arin chuckled, "I am Satsuki, Arin"

"Ah, I like it, Satsuki, Arin. Shall I drive you home?" he stood up. Arin stood, "Err.. well." she thought about it for a moment, she didn't really know him, but he seemed trustworthy. "Ok." she smiled and stood. Ryan smiled. "Okies! C'mon." he walked out with Arin on his heels.

Ryan drove Arin to the address she provided. "Well, here we are.." he watched her get out of the car. "Thank you." she bowed.

Ryan waved his hand, "No worries. Have a good day."

Arin closed the car door and watched him drive off. She slowly sighed, "I wonder if it was alright to lie to him.." she looked at the house and shrugged, "Ula won't care." Arin left that house and made her way to her own house.



A/N: I hope you liked it, I know I like it better! Besides.. I finally have a wonderful idea for ARin and Ula to become these odd boys friends. ^^
[color="Red"][SIZE="3"]Swiftly Dissin' and never Missin'.
Yours Truly,
Sick of all the BSin'.[/SIZE][/color]
User avatar
Nami
 
Posts: 739
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:26 pm
Location: Sitting in a tree, waiting for you. *sinister grin*

Postby Anna Mae » Sun Feb 18, 2007 5:30 pm

Well, that certainly is a big change.

I am interested to see more about Ryan.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
User avatar
Anna Mae
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
Location: Brazil


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