The wandering Ronin

[Wind]

this is a story I am writing could you guys let me know where I can improve please comments are appreciated

here is the prologue I will post the rest later
Tale of the Wandering Ronin


PROLOGUE

Lord Arashi was young, strong and brave. He had no weaknesses except the love of a great lady, if that could be called a weakness. She was lady Miyu of the house Azure Sky. She was a lady of skill, and She was beautiful. She loved him, even more so for his caring adtitude toward Seiryu. She wasn't his daughter, She had been left on his doorstep in the middle of the night, but he loved her as if she was his own daughter. Miyu hoped to spend the rest of her life with him.

ONE YEAR LATER

Arashi wanted to marry Miyu, he had been courting her for a year and he loved her and she loved him. He called on her and requested her to come to his rose garden. She came, dressed in a black and pink kimono which trailed behind her and her sleeves reached the ground, She was beautiful. He said getting down on his knees " My beloved Miyu, i pledge my life to you... I want to have your love forever...' She knew where this was going. Suddenly Seiryu ran out, " father... father... you will need this " She handed him a carved jade ring that was a dragon going all the way around " thank you my darling daughter..." He placed the ring on her finger and he jumped up and hugged her and Seiryu. He loved them both and knew he would for the rest of his life

20 YEARS LATER

Miyu had arrived home early with her bodyguards the twins,Samira and Ranna. They went with her everywhere, they were assigned to her by her father because house Azure sky had many enemies. When she married Arashi she kept them on, because they wee her friends and confidants also they were like her sisters. Suddenly she was attacked from behind by a well dressed gentleman. She collapsed to the floor no scream escaped her throat, She was already dead. The well dressed gentleman turned on the twins. he attacked Samira protected her sister and went down after a few parried blows... Ranna swung her sister's sword recieving a beating from him and then he sliced her across the chest and throat. Then He wiped off his blade on Ranna's Jacket and left without a word. After about twenty five minutes, Ryoko came home she had gone to a swordfighting competition with her now...former suitor. He didn't like the fact she had a wolf as a companion and that she was a better warrior than Him. Suddenly, Jimiru her wolf growled in displeasure and ran off into the
other room. She followed her and came upon a grusome scene. She
ran to her mother gathering her blood soaked body in her arms "Nooooo...Noooo...NOOOOO.... mother!!!" then her father came home " Oh My goodness...no... Not my Miyu..." Ryoko wept uncontrollably clutching her body to her chest. Arashi saw that the twins were still alive and quickly called servants to carry them to the healer, then he returned to Ryoko. She still wailed, Jimiru howled otu her despair after licking Miyu's cold cheek and getting no response he said gently " Ryoko... Ryoko..."She turned on him wild eyed" Ryoko..."She still cried silently but no more tears would come. Then Seiryu walked in and screamed, it was a very un-warrior like scream it was a scream of shock, revulsion, and horror, also of despair. Arashi looked at Seiyru in shock and said " Oh... Seiryu..." He went over and hugged her and then Sorata came home and Arashi said " Get Ryoko..." It was then that he saw her " Oh little sister..." He came over to her and said " little sister, put her down and come outside..." She looked at him uncomprehending " come on, Ryoko... sis..." she looked into his face and said nothing but she did as he asked and then followed him outside. He took her in his arms in a brotherly way and she asked " Why..Aris...Why?" she asked using her nickname for him " I don't know why, little sister... I wish I did... but I don't know why this happened, I am sorry you had to find her this way..." She wept more for her mother... She had loved her very much... She woud never forgive the person that did this... never...

[Anna Mae]

PROLOGUE

Lord Arashi was young, strong and brave. He had no weaknesses except the love of a great lady, if that could be called a weakness. [I like that interjection.] She was lady Miyu of the house Azure Sky. She was a lady of skill, and She was beautiful [I would suggest rephrasing this, "She was a lady of skill as well as beauty."] She loved him [I would say, "She returned his love"], even more so for his caring adtitude toward Seiryu. She [You should probably change this 'she' to 'Seiryu' just to avoid confusion, even though using 'she' here is technically correct.] wasn't his daughter, but had been left on his doorstep in the middle of the night. Nevertheless, he loved her as if she was his own daughter [You could eliminate the word 'daughter' here.]. Miyu hoped to spend the rest of her life with him. [I am glad that their love seems to be based off of substance.]

ONE YEAR LATER

Arashi wanted to marry Miyu, he had been courting her for a year and he loved her and she loved him [This part feels redundant.]. He called on her and requested her to come to his rose garden. She came, dressed in a black and pink kimono which trailed behind her and her sleeves reached the ground, She was beautiful. [Since we have already established that she is beautiful, I would suggest rephrasing this sentence as such: She came dressed in a black and pink kimono with a train and sleeves that trailed behind her, accenting her flowing black hair. (Or use some other quality that gives us more of a picture of what she looks like.)] Getting down on his knees he said, " My beloved Miyu, I pledge my life to you... I want to have your love forever...' She knew where this was going [This phrasing feels a bit awkward. I would change it to something like "Her heart flooded with joy as the meaning of his words sank in."]. Suddenly Seiryu ran out of the house.
"Father... Father... you will need this. " She handed him a carved jade ring that was a dragon going all the way around [Is the dragon biting its own tail, or just curving around it?]
"Thank you my darling daughter..." Arashi placed the ring on Miyu's finger and jumped up, and hugging both of them. He loved them both and knew he would for the rest of his life [I would change this sentence to: He knew that his love for them would last for the rest of his life.]

20 YEARS LATER

Miyu had arrived home early with her bodyguards, twins Samira and Ranna. They went with her everywhere; they were assigned to her by her father because House Azure Sky had many enemies [You should probably add here that these have been her body guards since she was a little girl.]. When she married Arashi she had kept them with her because they were her friends and confidants; they were like sisters to her. Suddenly she was attacked [Try to use a more descriptive word here than attacked.] from behind by a well-dressed gentleman. She collapsed to the floor silently, already dead. The well dressed gentleman turned on the twins. he attacked Samira protected her sister and went down after a few parried blows [This sentence did not quite make sense.] ... Ranna swung her sister's sword [What happened to hers?] recieving a beating from him and then he sliced her across the chest and throat [Your tenses here do not match up.] . Then He wiped off his blade on Ranna's Jacket and left without a word. After about twenty five minutes, Ryoko came home[Who is Ryoko?] from a swordfighting competition with her now... former suitor. He didn't like the fact she had a wolf as a companion and that she was a better warrior than Him. [ I would write this sentence like this: He didn't care for the wolf with whom she kept companionship. It also didn't help that she was a better warrior than he.] Suddenly, Jimiru, her wolf, growled in displeasure and ran off into the
other [You should probably change 'other' to ' next' since presumably this house has more than two rooms.] room. She followed her and came upon the grusome scene. Running to her mother, she gathered the blood-soaked body in her arms.
"Nooooo...Noooo...NOOOOO.... Mother!!!" then her father came home [This sentence is rather abrupt. Perhaps you could change it into two sentences describing him entering the house and then hurrying to the room when he hears Ryoko's cries.]
" Oh My goodness...no... Not my Miyu..." Ryoko wept uncontrollably, clutching Miyu's body to her chest. Arashi saw that the twins were still alive and quickly called servants [Where were the servants earlier?] to carry them to the healer, then he returned to the still-wailing Ryoko. Jimiru joined her in howling out her despair after licking Miyu's cold cheek and getting no response. Arashi said gently " Ryoko... Ryoko..." She turned to him with wild eyes." Ryoko..." Silent sobs continued to rack her body, but no more tears would come. Then Seiryu walked in and screamed a very un-warrior like scream of shock, revulsion, horror, and despair. Arashi looked at Seiyru in shock [Why is he looking at Seiyru in shock? ]and said, "Oh... Seiryu..." He went over and hugged her and then Sorata [Who is Sorata?] came home and Arashi said " Get Ryoko..." It was then that he saw her [That Sorata saw Ryoko? This part is unclear.]
" Oh little sister..." He came over to her,saying, " Little sister, put her down and come outside..." She looked at him uncomprehending. "Come on, Ryoko... sis..." She looked into his face and said nothing, but did as he asked. He took her in his arms in a brotherly way and she asked [I would change this to: Full of brotherly compassion, he took her into his arms as she asked, "Why..Aris...Why?" she asked using her nickname for him [Including this detail is superfluous.]
"I don't know why, little sister... I wish I did... but I don't know why this happened. I am sorry you had to find her this way..." Ryoko wept again for her mother... She had loved her very much... She woud never forgive the person that did this... never...

[What are you trying to say with this story?]