Erewhon Chronicles III: Spare the Rod

[rocklobster]

Prologue
It was a peaceful day in the Veldt. As Ki'ry arrived, he was seen by Titania.
"Well, dragon-human," she greeted him, "What brings you to the Veldt?"
"I see you're teaching Kindred and her friends your dances now that they are a part of your domain." Ki'ry noticed.
"Yes." Titania beamed. "Some of them don't even bother to shrink their clothes as they take fairy form. Children are so eager to please."
Two of the fairies approached Ki'ry. One had red hair and the other had green hair.
"Kindred and Lucia. I see you've taken a liking to your new life?" asked Ki'ry.
"Yes." said Kindred. "Titania is a wise and gentle ruler."
"So why did you contact me telepathically?" he asked.
"It's because of Lokiseth." Kindred explained. "He hasn't returned, but I'm worried. I remember he said he'd faced your parents and your sister. I want to know all about him. Can you take me to Green-eyes?"
"Yes." Ki'ry said.
"I want to come too." said Lucia.
"Then fly alongside me." Ki'ry nodded. "We'll get there faster."
Together, the three of them flew off to Green-eyes' cave.
Titania watched as they flew. She turned away, shuddering.
Nightingale saw this and asked. "My queen, what is troubling you?"
"Just remembering...a nightmare too real."
***
Chapter 1: The Story Begins
(Note: from this point on, the story is taken in flashback form. The flashback is being told to Kindred and Lucia by Green-eyes.)
The story starts two centuries ago. At that time, humans and dragons were still allies. Green-eyes was younger and much stronger.
Titania entered Green-eyes' cave. She was obviously pregnant.
"The pains are more intense now." she said.
"Perhaps you should've thought of that before you cheated on your husband." said another dragon with black scales. This was Charcoal, Green-eyes' mate.
Titania gritted her teeth. "I came here for help, not lectures." she clutched her stomach in pain.
"Forgive Charcoal. She has never realized when not to speak her mind. Now then, let me help you."
Green-eyes placed a forelimb on her stomach. The pains slowly subsided. The child arrived with no complications.
"So what have you decided to name this child?" Charcoal asked as she handed the baby to Titania.
"Lokiseth." Titania answered. "Which means 'hidden' in my tongue."
"Quite fitting." Charcoal said. "Considering you will be forced to hide him from Oberon. But how will you raise the child?"
"I will keep him here until I have weaned him. Then I will take him to the human world, because he is a changeling. When the child is of age, I will then help him to learn magic."

[USSRGirl]

The sudden flashback with Charcoal confused me a bit at first, but overall nice start up. So Titania is the mother of Lokiseth? Hmm... ominous indeed!

[rocklobster]

Yep. I put Charcoal in the story so that you get to see how she died, as well as how much Violet takes after her. Violet will be in the story too, but she's much younger of course.

[rocklobster]

Two years later, the child was ready to be weaned. Titania turned herself and her child into their fairy forms. They flew off to a nearby village.
Titania produced a wicker basket and placed Lokiseth inside it. She tried her best not to cry, but failed.
"I am sorry that I cannot care for you. But I cannot hide you from Oberon forever." Titania whispered to the infant. "But I hope this family will care for you until I return to teach you how to wield magic." With that, she knocked on the door and flew off, not even caring who answered. The door was answered by a homely woman named Rachel. When she saw the baby, she only noticed the child's innocense and frailty. She immediately brought the child inside to her husband, Jasper.
"My husband, our prayers have been answered. Iawia, the creator of all, has blessed us with a baby." [Author's note: The Erewhon name for God is Iawia. It means I Am What I Am.]
Her husband looked at the baby. "But Rachel, look closer at the child. HIs eyes are purple. Do you realize what this means?"
"I do not care that the child is a changeling, Jasper." Rachel shook her head. "He is still, at least, partially human."
Jasper raised a hand. "I know better than to argue with you when your mind is made up. Now all the child needs is a name."
Rachel thought a moment. "We shall name the child Corin, after my father. Perhaps he shall grow to be as good a man as he was."
The baby cooed happily.
***
We now move forward ten years. Corin walked outside to draw water from a well.
"Well, you certainly have grown since I saw you last, my dear Lokiseth." said a voice behind him.
Corin turned around. "Who's there?"
A woman stepped out of the darkness. She had gray hair and purple eyes. She was tall and had a kind, mysterious voice. "My name is Titania. And I am your mother."

[USSRGirl]

Ooh ominous cliffhanger! Aww... I feel so bad for lil' Loki now. Though, I like the idea that it was really Titania's selfish refusal to face her sin that ruined his life.

[rocklobster]

yep. Responsibility is the theme this time around.

[rocklobster]

"I don't know you. How can you be my my mother?" Corin asked crossly.
"I don't blame you for doubting me. But haven't you felt as though you are an outsider? Haven't you felt a connection to nature that you can't express? That is the magic of the realm of Faerie, my child. That same magic flows through your veins as well as mine."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Corin said. "Prove it to me."
"Fair enough." Titania nodded. She produced a seed and placed it inthe ground. "Place your hand on the seed. Concentrate as hard as you can."
Corin did as he was told. Within moments, the seed sprouted into a budding snapdragon.
"Is that proof enough?" Titania asked. "You can only do that if your blood is like mine."
Corin realized that this stranger was telling the truth. "If you are my true mother, then why have you chosen now to make your claim?" he asked.
"I would not have been able to show you the proof you needed. Your magic is quite weak now, but with time and the correct instruction, it can grow stronger."
"I see. So what do you wish me to do?"
"You'll see." She flew around him and sprinkled snowflakes on his head. Within seconds, Corin was now the same size as a fairy. His clothes had now disappeared.
"Follow me, Lokiseth, my child." said Titania. "When we reach my home, we shall initiate you into our family and begin your training."
"Why do you call me Lokiseth?" Corin asked.
"That is your true name. It means hidden. We fairies do not name our children on a whim. Their names always mean something." Titania explained.
Corin followed his mother. He was surprised at how easy he took to flying, as though it was second nature.
However, the conversation did not go unobserved. An imp, a servant of the queen of evil known as Pandora, had seen what had happened. He flew off to the realm of fire, where all evil's minions lived.
He entered the throne room. "Your highness, I have news. Queen Titania has sired a changeling."
Pandora, the queen of evil, smiled. "This is the opportunity I have been waiting for. Unlike fairies, changelings have a more willingness to use their magic for evil purposes. If we could turn this child to our side, we could have a powerful ally to begin my reign of terror. Iawia has been in power for far too long. It is time I showed Her and all of Erewhon what true power is all about!"

[USSRGirl]

Bwahahaha! Pandora makes a cameo!

I like the contrast between Pandora and Iawia. Also an interesting hint at the changeling's human side making them easier to corrupt (at least that's how I took it).

One crit: In the last sentence with the imp, isn't "sired" usually referring to the father of a person and not the mother? Like in the same sense as Grandsire. Begot or brought forth or mothered might be a better way to keep the semi-medevial style dialogue.

[rocklobster]

whoops. Thanks. I think it's better when your characters are capable of both good and evil. The Bible's chock full of people like that: David and Peter are definitely good examples.

[rocklobster]

When they arrived at the Veldt, Titania and Lokiseth were met by a fairy named Redwing.
"Welcome back, my queen." she greeted them. "Who is this with you?"
"This is Lokiseth. He is a changeling I found in the human world." Titania answered.
"Interesting." Redwing raised an eyebrow. "As far as you're concerned, fairies should have nothing to do with humans."
"Bite your tongue, Redwing." Titania said crossly. "I am in no mood for your sarcasm."
Redwing flew off. Her sarcasm often made it difficult for her to win friends. Not that she cared.
***
Later, Titania called council with herself, her husband Oberon, and Fuchsia, a gentle fairy with a kind heart.
"I see no reason for refusing to let Lokiseth into the fold, my queen." said Fuchsia. "After all, he does need to learn how to use his magic properly."
"I must object, Titania." Oberon said. "I do not accept this child. And it is not because he is a changeling. I can tell what you are avoiding, Titania."
"I don't know what you are talking about." Titania lied.
"Oh, I think you do. I know exactly why you are so concerned about this changeling. Normally, you could care less about them. But I can see right through you. This is your secret you have hidden from me all these years. Lokiseth is your child that you have begotten out of wedlock."
"I did it for the good of the kingdom. If I can prove we can teach changelings to use magic properly, we will have no reason to place our subjects in exile if they are suspected of falling in love with humans." Titania explained.
"I will not accept this child, no matter how you sugar-coat the reasons you gave birth to him!" Oberon thundered.
Lokiseth had heard enough. "I don't see any reason to stay here. Your people will not accept me. I am better off in the human world." And with that, he stormed off alone.
***
Lokiseth realized something--he did not know how to get back to the human world. The marvel of being able to fly had kept him from paying attention to anything else.
"You won't be accepted there either." said a voice.
Lokiseth turned around. He saw a red-haired woman with cold, lightless eyes. They didn't even have irises.
"Who are you?" Lokiseth asked.
"My name is Pandora. I am the enemy of all that is good." she answered.
"And what do you want with me?" he asked.
"I think you would be better off working for me. Neither the Faerie realm nor the human world will accept you. But I will, for I sense great potential in you, Lokiseth. The world has one you a great wrong by this refusal. It is your turn for payback. Acceptance so fleeting, after all."
She produced an apple. "Just think it over. If you accept my offer, you can let me know by biting into this apple. Leave whatever you don't eat here." Then she vanished.
When she vanished, Fuchsia appeared. "My daughter Redwing told me I'd find you here." She saw the apple and recognized its evil aura. "If you eat that apple, you will become unable to do any good in this world. And Titania will not love you."
"This world hasn't done me any good!" said Lokiseth.
"What about those humans who accepted you as one of their own?" said Fuchsia.
"When my powers increase, who's to say they'll accept me anymore?" said Lokiseth. "Perhaps Pandora is right."
"No, she is always wrong. She says whatever suits her agenda. If you join her, you will be nothing more than a pawn. A pawn with no hope of promotion." said Fuchsia.
But her words fell on deaf ears. Lokiseth picked up the apple and saw that it was pleasing to the eye. He bit into it. The taste was so good that he could not resist finishing the apple. He left the core on the ground.
The moment he dropped the core, his knees began to buckle. He was being forced to kneel. He felt fear for the first time in his life.
At that moment, Pandora reappeared. Fuchsia flew off at the mere sight of her. Pandora laughed evilly.
"Now you belong to me, body and soul, fool!" she cackled. "That apple has made your heart as black as my own!" Then she produced a looking glass and smashed it against a tree. Shards encircled Lokiseth, and although Lokiseth attempted to shield his eyes, the shards passed through his hands and into his eyes. To his surprise, he could still see.
"I have given you the eyes of a demon. Now you shall only see the ugliness of this world. No longer shall you see its beauty. Now, my slave, who is your master?"
Lokiseth answered blankly, "You are, Mother Below."
Pandora laughed evilly. She had succeeded in her plan.

[USSRGirl]

Interesting look at Lucia's ancestry. I like Redwing's personality. ^___^ Good update with Lokiseth's rejection. Only thing I'd think about changing would be the part where he sees that the apple is pleasing to the eyes. It sounded to overtly "forbidden fruit"/Genesis.

[rocklobster]

It was supposed to be that way.

[rocklobster]

"It won't do to have a slave whose powers are still developing." said Pandora. "I do have something to remedy that." She produced an image of an amulet with an eye in the middle of it.
"This amulet will increase your abilities." she explained. "Iawia, my enemy, entrusted it to the care of the Falconers, for she knew the purpose I had created it for. But don't worry, slave, I shall give you a sample of my power." Then she pointed to the mountains. "Head for the tallest mountain."
At that moment, Lokiseth buckled down as sharp pains inflicted his back. Within moments, large bat-like wings tore through his back. When the wings were completely formed, he headed in the direction Pandora had instructed.
But Fuchsia had not actually left when Pandora appeared. She merely flew to a less conspicuous place and eavesdropped. She sent a telepathic prayer to Iawia, the creator of Erewhon. "Iawia, tell the Falconers a servant of Pandora is coming for them."
A feminine voice answered. "I shall, my child."
***
On the highest mountain in Erewhon dwelled the winged, human-like beings called Falconers. Iawia had created them and breathed into them a common, relentless warrior-spirit. Their elite warriors belong to an organization called the Seraph Guard, which is divided into 9 "choirs" (as they refer to them). Their chief is known only as the Cardinal. They all have one purpose--to fight until the last breath for the Great Shepherdess, Iawia.
At that moment, the Cardinal recieved a telepathic message from Iawia. "Cardinal, this is Iawia. My enemy has sent one of her minions to retrieve her Evil Eye. Assemble the troops."
The Cardinal nodded and did as instructed.
Suddenly, it began to rain. Dove, the Conductor of the First Choir, reached out her hand to catch the first raindrop. But this was no ordinary rain. It tore threw her palm. A bat-winged figure swooped down and hovered in front of her.
"Are you the cause of this unnatural rain?" she asked.
The figure nodded. "My name is Lokiseth. I have come for Pandora's amulet."
"You shall not have it." Dove unsheathed her mace and threw it, but it stopped in midflight. Instead, the mace turned and headed straight for Dove, striking her and knocking her unconscious.
Lokiseth was soon met by another Conductor named Raven.
"Where is the amulet?" Lokiseth asked.
"Are you daft? Do you think I would answer you truthfully?" Raven asked.
"You don't have to." Lokiseth said, reading his mind. "Thank you, I now have the information I need."
Suddenly, all the blood drained out of Raven's body. He instantly fell lifeless to the ground.
Moments later, he entered the building he had seen in Raven's mind. It was inhabited by only one Falconer--Sparrow, the Seventh Choir's Conductor. Despite his blindness, Sparrow was a formidable opponent.
"I have already killed one of your fellow Conductors. Would you like to join him?" Lokiseth asked.
Sparrow silently raised his weapon. The building instantly became dark. "You are from the darkness." said Sparrow. "So this environment shall make us equals. Here, you cannot see nor hear. There is no way you can anticipate my attacks. He charged toward him and sliced at an arm, causing blood to gush out.
Pandora's voice rang inside Lokiseth's mind. "My slave, you shall not die at his hand." it said. "I can see throuh his magic. When I give the command, step toward your left."
Sparrow charged again.
"Now!" Pandora commanded. "Drop to the ground and trip him."
Lokiseth dropped and Sparrow fell. Lokiseth saw the opportunity and retrieved the amulet, which was on a pedastal.
"Good work." said Pandora. "Now, we must make our exit."
And with that, Lokiseth vanished.

[USSRGirl]

I like Lokiseth's new powers - especially the tainted rain. His personality change is rather chilling. Also, the description of Falconer society was very vivid and believable - one of your best so far I think. I'm left wondering how the Falconcers got the amulet away from Pandora to begin with - prequel anyone? ^___^

[rocklobster]

I'll consider it! I'm definitely considering more flashbacks!
-----------
When Lokiseth rematerialized, he found himself in a very familiar place. Pandora appeared next to him.
"Do you know where you are?" she asked.
"Yes. This is my village." Lokiseth realized. "That's my house on the left."
"That's correct. Here, you shall demonstrate your newfound abilities. You shall burn this village to the ground. No one shall be left standing."
Lokiseth nodded obediently.
"Start with your childhood home. Why not let your parents know you have returned?" Pandora suggested.
Lokiseth knocked on the door to his parents' house. His mother answered.
"My son!" she exclaimed. "You have returned!"
"Yes mother. And I have learned that I am a changeling." he replied. "In fact, I shall demonstrate my powers."
"What do you mean?"
"This." Lokiseth raised his hands. The amulet glowed and Rachel found herself engulfed in flames. Lokiseth laughed as she tried desperately to smother them, but this was a magical fire--it would not be smothered.
His father heard the commotion and ran out. He too was engulfed by flames.
Rachel's last words before she died were "But Corin, we still would have loved you!"
But Lokiseth did not pay heed to those words. The fires that engulfed his parents now spread to the house and the entire town.
Not far away, two dragons were flying. One had jet-black scales and skin. The other was a purple-scaled dragon, and obviously younger. They were Greeneyes' mate Charcoal and his wyvern (baby dragon) Violet.
"Mother, can we go back home now?" Violet asked. "Nothing has happened."
"I want to be certain the humans are safe." Charcoal said. "Then we shall return home, my wyvern."
Then they saw the flames. "We must investigate this. Stay close to me." she said.
They touched down and saw Lokiseth. Charcoal looked into his eyes and saw that he was a changeling.
"You there, did you start this fire?" she asked.
"Yes." Lokiseth answered. "My name is Lokiseth, and I have come to demonstrate my power."
"But this is impossible. You cannot have this level of power at your age." Charcoal said.
"This amulet has made me more powerful."
"But why are you doing this?"
"Because I am a slave of Pandora, the queen of all evil."
"Then that makes you my enemy." said Charcoal. "For I serve the Great Shepherdess, Iawia."
"My mother is very powerful." Violet said enthusiastically. "You might as well surrender."
"I am not afraid." Lokiseth said. YOu see those two corpses over there? They were my adoptive parents. Do you want to know what it's like to lose a parent?" he sneered and pointed at Charcoal.
Charcoal was paralyzed by the amulet. She felt her heart begin to race.
"I am controlling your heartbeat." Lokiseth explained. "I can slow it back to its normal rate just as easily as I increased it." And with that, he simply willed her heart to slow to normalcy.
Charcoal sighed in relief when her heart obeyed. But that relief was short-lived. Lokiseth began to make it beat slower and slower.
"Full stop." Lokiseth commanded coldly. Moments later, Charcoal died.
Violet cowered in fear. Not wanting to join her mother in death, she flew off as fast as she could to her cave. She hoped her father would know what to do.

[USSRGirl]

Aww, poor lil' Vi. I guess this incident was what made her a little on the tough n' cold side in the later Erewhon stories. I'm surprised she ran off though... but then she was just a kid so...

[rocklobster]

When Greeneyes welcomed Violet, she told him what had happened.
"Father, am I a coward for running away?" Violet asked with tear-filled eyes.
"No, my daughter." Greeneyes shook his head. "I do not blame you for your actions."
He contacted Titania telepathically. Titania, your son has committed a great wrong. Come to my cave and we shall discuss what to do.
Within moments, Titania teleported to Greeneyes's cave.
"Fuchsia told me my son has sided wth Pandora." Titania said.
"Yes, we know. He has also killed all the people in his childhood home, including his adoptive parents. Not only that, but he has also killed my codor (a dragon word for "wife"). By our edicts, he must die as well. But I am hesistant because I respect our alliance."
"Do what you wish." Titania said coldly, hiding her sorrow. "He is no longer my son. I cannot love anyone who sides with Pandora."
"I shall accompany you to the Realm of Faerie. I believe you may be next."
***
As Greeneyes had predicted, Lokiseth entered the Realm of Faerie.
Titania said to him, "I suggest you leave, Lokiseth. Those who side with Pandora are unwelcome here."
"I was unwelcome here before I even sided with Pandora. So it makes no difference, mother!" Lokiseth scoffed.
"Don't call me mother. You lost that right." Titania said.
At that moment, Greeneyes spoke. "Did you truly think you would not suffer any consequences for your actions?" he asked.
"And who are you?" Lokiseth asked.
"My name is Greeneyes. I was mated to Charcoal, the dragon you murdered. And now I shall have revenge!" the dragon replied.
"No, you shall join her." And he attempted to use his amulet's power to paralyze Greeneyes. But to his surprise, nothing happened.
Titania said, "Your powers will not work on him. I have placed a barrier around him to prevent your magic. And now, it's my turn." She placed her hands in Greeneyes' hands to draw courage from him. Then she concentrated her strongest spell.
Lokiseth felt himself begin to fade away. First, his legs and feet disappeared. Within moments, his arms, chest, and waist disappeared. He managed to get out a last sentence: "Why is this happening mother?"
"You are becoming a part of that abominable amulet." Greeneyes explained.
"And as I told you, do not call me mother. You cannot be my son." Titania said, not even bearing to watch.
Seconds later, Lokiseth disappeared, trapped by his own amulet.

[USSRGirl]

*pat pat* s'okay lil' chibi Violet.

One thing that stuck out this time around was Greeneyes' line "Did you truly think you would not suffer any consequences for your actions?" I find it interesting that you put this right after Titania's line - almost as if he's speaking to both her and Lokiseth. Whether intentional or not it gives the reader something to, well, "read into" (for lack of better term XD) and flows well with the theme of this piece.

The only crit I can think of would be that the scene cut to the final confrontation with Lokiseth seems a little abrupt.

[rocklobster]

Note: This is a double update.
--------------
When Greeneyes finished the story, Kindred knelt and began to weep bitterly.
"Then I have doomed the world." she sobbed. "Because when I destroyed the amulet, Lokiseth was released."
"Don't blame yourself." said Ki'ry. "Because if you hadn't destroyed it, you would still be his slave." said Lucia. "And who knows? That person might not have even resisted Lokiseth's influence."
Kindred stood up and stopped crying. She realized everyone was right. She had been saved.
"Thank you for telling me that story." she said. "We will now return to the Realm of Faerie."
Violet approached them. "I would like to accompany you. Do you mind?"
"Not at all." said Lucia. And the three friends left.
After they departed, Ki'ry turned to Greeneyes.
"I feel as though I should be helping Iawia fight Pandora. Perhaps that battle is more important than uniting the humans and dragons."
At that moment, a woman appeared and the cave shone with a dazzling, nearly-blinding light. The woman wore a shepherd's clothes and carried a crooked cane with a globe in its hook. She had white hair and gentle eyes. This was Iawia, the Great Shepherdess Herself.
Greeneyes immediately bowed and urged Ki'ry to do the same. Ki'ry also bowed.
"I am Iawia. And I am what I am--the Creator of the universe and all those who dwell within it." The woman introduced Herself. She studied Ki'ry. "You have created a fine specimen, Greeneyes, son of Obsidia." she said, invoking the name of the first dragon she ever created.
"I thank you, my Creator." said Greeneyes.
"You there, child. You wish to serve me?" she asked Ki'ry.
"Y-Yes, Iawia, Great Shepherdess." Ki'ry stammered.
"You already are serving me. Iawia smiled. "All missions of goodwill benefit me in the end, whether it is realized or not. So you have actually been unofficially serving me. But now, I shall make it official. Kneel, Ki'ry." she commanded. Ki'ry obeyed.
She produced a ram's horn, which held holy water. She smiled and poured it over Ki'ry's head. Ki'ry felt a new strength flowing through him, for Iawia was pouring Her Spirit into his body.
"Now rise, my servant, and become my new champion!"
Ki'ry obeyed.
"You have taught this child well, Greeneyes, son of Obsidia. He chose me of his own will. And I do not desire slaves, but servants."
She disappeared. Greeneyes hugged Ki'ry in congratulation.

Epilogue

When Kindred, Lucia, and Violet arrived in the Realm of Faerie, they were greeted by Titania and Oberon.
"I suppose Greeneyes told you what you wanted to know." Titania said.
Lucia and Kindred nodded.
Then Titania noticed Violet. "And what is your purpose?"
"I want to know something, your Highness." Violet answered. "Why do you continue to feel you must atone for Lokiseth's sins. They are not your fault."
Titania felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't expect you to understand." she said. "Not until you have begotten wyverns of your own will you begin to understand. But perhaps you will be a better mother than I was."
Lucia turned to Oberon. "Why did you not exile Titania as you did my mother when she conceived me?"
"It's not like I never considered it." Oberon said. "But if I did, I would not have been there when she needed me the most. I have made my commitment as her husband and stood behind it ever since. Besides, she suffered enough having to kill her own son."
"And I thank you, my husband." said Titania.

[USSRGirl]

Nice ending indeed, RL! I particularly liked that you gave Violet a line that lets us know she's healing from the pain of her past, and has found her 'place' among good friends and company. Also, Oberon and Titania's wrap up was a nice finish to their story.

Might wanna edit the third line and indent somewhere, because I got a little confused as to who was speaking - Lucia or Ki'ry. And also, who is Lucia referring to when she says "that person?"

[rocklobster]

She's speaking hypothetically.