The feelings or grief still gasp me,
surrounding and pressing my frame
like long, tenacious fingers...
that I cannot see, but feel...
To think it has been this long already...
two whole years have passed
since my world came crashing down...
that my hopes vanished...
my faith shaken from its foundation...
my spirit crushed...
my heart broken.
No longer can I come to you in
sadness and confusion...
no longer can your arms...
keep me safe and warm.
I fall to my knees to the ground...
the grass still unevened...
The spot still visible.
To think....it has been so long.
To think you have missed my life change...
changes you had dreamed of seeing.
Tears-hot and heavy
gush from my eyes,
showering your grave marker.
My dear one....
my precious idol of hope and inspiration...
To think it has been so long...
I can still recall
picking buttercups...
baking peanut butter cookies...
long afternoons in the kitchen...
talking, laughing, playing...
Sweet years of childhood dashed
by the Tomb of Death and Reality...
No longer do I live in Fantasy....
I know and see the World now....
and to think it has been two years...
two years since the day you left.
I love you, Nanny, I can't wait to meet up with you again in Heaven.
RPA 11-21-13 to 3-18-05.