Are you old fashioned!?

[Hohenheim]

Simpler time, or grossly misrepresented time? My parents and aunts/uncles lived through the 1940's, and they'll tell you that those movies are nothing like what real life was like back then. You should hear the story about the mixed-race couple that move onto the block when they were kids....

Ok, I get it. It was stupid of me to say that. What I was trying to get across is that these older movies (at least the ones I've seen) spoke of good ideals. I'm thinking along the lines of movies such as Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, or perhaps the movie adaptation to the book To Kill a Mockingbird. I'm not naive. I know the world was never actually like that back then. I just like movies that speak of good ideals, and not the majority of movies today that basically amount to a bunch of sex jokes.

[Nate]

Thanks to Wiki -->


Hm, if wiki is correct then I have to say "courting" sounds like more fun. And more romantic~ xD lol

I agree! Dating DOES sound more fun than dating. But what should you drink while you're dating: soda or pop? Should you see a movie, or a film? Should you eat beef, or cow? Should you drink alcohol or booze? So many questions!

You also have to decide whether to take a car or an automobile! Argh! I can't take all the pressure! Screw dating, I'm just going to date! Dating is so much easier and less stressful than dating!

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

You're absolutely right. In terms of science and technology, they were simpler times. But World War 2 was going on, besides other day-to-day trials and I'd hardly call that 'simple.'

[Davidizer13]

Thanks to Wiki -->

Quote:
Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval.

It includes activities such as dating where couples go out together for a meal, a movie, dance parties, a picnic, shopping or general companionship, along with other forms of activity. Acts such as meeting on the Internet or virtual dating, chatting on-line via instant messaging or e-mail, sending text messages, conversing over the telephone, writing each other letters, and sending each other flowers, songs, and gifts constitute wooing.

Hm, if wiki is correct then I have to say "courting" sounds like more fun. And more romantic~ xD lol

Sounds exactly the same as dating to me. I think what Wikipedia calls courtship and the "Christian dating" courtship are two different things; not that they were much different in the first place.

[Shao Feng-Li]

I agree! Dating DOES sound more fun than dating. But what should you drink while you're dating: soda or pop? Should you see a movie, or a film? Should you eat beef, or cow? Should you drink alcohol or booze? So many questions!

You also have to decide whether to take a car or an automobile! Argh! I can't take all the pressure! Screw dating, I'm just going to date! Dating is so much easier and less stressful than dating!

Well the point of "dates" are to be alone with each other. "Courting" not so much. Maybe its just that we use those terms to differenciate. And to clarify I don't think that eveyone who dates is gonna end up with children out of wedlock

[Nate]

That is a poor definition since I had a girlfriend and when we were dating we went to the movies, restaurants, a museum...all these are public places.

[Yamamaya]

The idea of romantic love has always been around but not always within the bounds of marriage. In fact saying someone was "in love" in Chaucer's time(15th century) was considered dirty words.

Also I was not aware we disagreed that much Shiroi, but glad to see we agree on something.


But on another topic there's nothing wrong with being old fashioned. I happen to love history but that doesn't mean I want to emulate every single thing they did back then. Sometimes I might be a little old fashioned in certain ways.

A relationship cannot flourish if you don't spend some time alone(and I don't mean sex). IMO the pressure to marry those you are "courting" just makes everything more tense than need be. But then of course courting can also allow for alone time to make your relationship grow.

[Cognitive Gear]

Dating vs Courting-

It's not a terribly useful distinction. As we have seen in this thread, a lot of people have different views on what constitutes one or the other. It doesn't matter what label your put on your relationship, but it does matter that your relationship is good for both parties involved.

So call it whatever you want, just don't try to tell others that your way is better. (I'm not saying that anyone in this thread is doing this, but in my own experience this is quite common.)

[Yamamaya]

Ok, I get it. It was stupid of me to say that. What I was trying to get across is that these older movies (at least the ones I've seen) spoke of good ideals. I'm thinking along the lines of movies such as Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, or perhaps the movie adaptation to the book To Kill a Mockingbird. I'm not naive. I know the world was never actually like that back then. I just like movies that speak of good ideals, and not the majority of movies today that basically amount to a bunch of sex jokes.

But weren't some of those movies also somewhat naive? Fifties movies were famous for whitewashing things. I'm not saying movies of today are necessarily better but a movie like Schnidler's List would never be allowed to be made in the 50s.

I'm not trying to be argumentative.

[MightiMidget]

but the over all ideology of those times was respect, and ethical behavior in public.

xD xD xD My grandmother's stories are not fit to be repeated on this board. They were not prim and proper, ohh no... xD

"Old-Fashioned"
1 -- I am with the real books over Kindle.
2 -- I am also with guy asking girl out, not the other way around. Though a large part of it is because I don't care enough. I want to date a guy who is a best friend first. If he's interested in me, hopefully he'd be comfortable enough to ask me out. I can show interest in my own way. But that's what I want. I may change my mind in years to come, but for now if that don't happen I'm perfectly content with growing up to be a crazy cat lady. I am NOT old fashioned in that I do not need a guy to survive. God will provide, no? ]But weren't some of those movies also somewhat naive? Fifties movies were famous for whitewashing things. I'm not saying movies of today are necessarily better but a movie like Schnidler's List would never be allowed to be made in the 50s.[/quote]

You can have an unrealistic, but uplifting story. Also, that's what movies are. They're fiction and they're stories meant as a escape. I enjoy old movies better because they're cleaner, they don't rely on sex jokes. And To Kill a Mockingbird was not "wishy-washy" it was a very strong story. It isn't happy, it's realistic. But as a general rule, old movies portray a higher level of class in their humor, their storytelling, their artform-medium of cinema than modern movies. (There are exceptions of course) but just because those movies portray a higher level of class and may seem "naive" (once again, fiction!) doesn't necessarily mean they're trying to give some in-depth wonderful image of the time they were made.

[Atria35]

You can have an unrealistic, but uplifting story. Also, that's what movies are. They're fiction and they're stories meant as a escape. I enjoy old movies better because they're cleaner, they don't rely on sex jokes. And To Kill a Mockingbird was not "wishy-washy" it was a very strong story. It isn't happy, it's realistic. But as a general rule, old movies portray a higher level of class in their humor, their storytelling, their artform-medium of cinema than modern movies. (There are exceptions of course) but just because those movies portray a higher level of class and may seem "naive" (once again, fiction!) doesn't necessarily mean they're trying to give some in-depth wonderful image of the time they were made.

Erm, she said that they whitewashed stuff, not that they were wishy-washy. Those are two completely different terms . Whitewashing is when things are made to appear/seem better than they are. Wishy-washy means that one cannot make a decision about something.

[MightiMidget]

Erm, she said that they whitewashed stuff, not that they were wishy-washy. Those are two completely different terms . Whitewashing is when things are made to appear/seem better than they are. Wishy-washy means that one cannot make a decision about something.

..fail. sorry. xD xD xD Thanks, Atria. I'm just going to go over in this corner and not say anything, k? K. *falls silent*

[Atria35]

..fail. sorry. xD xD xD Thanks, Atria. I'm just going to go over in this corner and not say anything, k? K. *falls silent*

Oh, it's okay, really! I think I've done the same thing on a few forums Sometimes the mind goes and reads things that aren't what are actually on the page- it literally fills in the blanks for you when you see only a few letters. I still value your opinion!

[Cognitive Gear]

But weren't some of those movies also somewhat naive? Fifties movies were famous for whitewashing things. I'm not saying movies of today are necessarily better but a movie like Schnidler's List would never be allowed to be made in the 50s.

By and large, movies have remained mostly the same since their humble beginnings in terms of content. Certainly censorship laws have caused some eras' mainstream films to be cleaner than others. However, the fact remains that films have depicted all sorts of immorality from it's earliest days.

A short history lesson-

In 1922, the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America (MPPDA) was founded with William H. Hays at the head. The goal of this organization was to "clean up" Hollywood. This resulted in a lot of things, chief among them was a mandate to avoid the following:

suggestive nudity or perversion
lustful kissing
inter-racial romance
criminal murder
drugs
brutal violence, rape or attempted rape
cruelty to animals and children
racial slurs or anti-government diatribes
seduction of women
swearing
capital punishment

As you can imagine, they wouldn't make a list like this unless there was something to "clean up" in the first place.

Let me assure you, some of the most violently disturbing things ever put to film were done during the silent era. I could provide examples, but honestly I'd rather not risk someone choosing to google search some of them.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

That's very true and just because something isn't spelt out in detail, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Many movies from the 30s-60s contained sexual jokes but they were just more clever in the way they bypassed censors.

[Mister]

Simpler time, or grossly misrepresented time? My parents and aunts/uncles lived through the 1940's, and they'll tell you that those movies are nothing like what real life was like back then. You should hear the story about the mixed-race couple that move onto the block when they were kids....

[SIZE="1"]i thin my granddad hung those people.... i hope not![/SIZE]

[Ante Bellum]

[SIZE="1"]i thin my granddad hung those people.... i hope not![/SIZE]

I think I heard once that my grandfather a couple generations ago shot and killed his wife...
My grandfather was also a troublemaker, and he was born in the early 40s. Of course, it wasn't to that extent. Personally, I think that while earlier times looked nice enough, they can't compare to modern times. The standard of living is so much higher and sure, there may be problems now, but there were so many problems back then too.
And with the whole courtship/dating issue, I don't bother with it. I call it dating but I honestly think that the two terms are interchangeable.

[Shao Feng-Li]

That is a poor definition since I had a girlfriend and when we were dating we went to the movies, restaurants, a museum...all these are public places.

Huh. I dunno then. I've never had to deal with any of it anyway.

"A relationship cannot flourish if you don't spend some time alone(and I don't mean sex). IMO the pressure to marry those you are "courting" just makes everything more tense than need be. But then of course courting can also allow for alone time to make your relationship grow."

Yeah. It's more like, you wouldn't be allowed to go over to his place alone for dinner. But it's not like the two people can't ever talk privately. I don't think that the daters/courters ought to be pressured into marriage. It's just to find out if you'd want to spend the rest of your life with a person.

[thisiskris89]

Thank God there's not many women like you in the world, or else I'd never get a girlfriend.

Well, okay, I'll never get one anyway, but the chances would be completely zero if there were no girls in the world who would ask me out.

Gee thanks nate( - _ - )
so sue me,i hate seeing girls chase boys around ( >< )

but i guess you are shy,thats ok*pats on head*^^

[goldenspines]

Gee thanks nate( - _ - )
so sue me,i hate seeing girls chase boys around ( >< )

but i guess you are shy,thats ok*pats on head*^^

And I hate seeing guys chase girls around. D:

I would think that both girls and guys would be afraid of rejection (or "shy"), so it wouldn't really matter who did the "asking out" (same emotional stakes for both genders). I dunno though. I can't really think of a reason why girl can't ask a guy out (like to coffee or a movie or whatever), even if it's just as friends.

Guess I'm not that old fashioned though. Well, actually, I am, but not in that way. I like to cook! Hardly anyone likes to cook anymore (except for those chefs on the Food Network). Everyone goes out to eat nowadays. 8(

[Tsukuyomi]

I HEAR THE ICE CREAM TRUCK :3

Sorry... *Clears throat* I guess I'm more with the times (?) then old fashion :-? I think there should be a balance though ^^

I agree, people need alone time (going out to the movies, going to a restaurant.. One on one dating in public places). Who's not to say someone may NOT act differently when one on one with you? That can be bad... Someone could easily just be putting up the innocent act in front of parents, so it's good to be cautious. Do both, imo. People may act totally different in different situations.

I hope that didn't come off wrong >_>;

[Roy Mustang]

And I hate seeing guys chase girls around. D:

I agree, I never like chasing girls around. That is why I use a blowgun!



[font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]

[Mr. Hat'n'Clogs]

And I hate seeing guys chase girls around. D:

I would think that both girls and guys would be afraid of rejection (or "shy"), so it wouldn't really matter who did the "asking out" (same emotional stakes for both genders). I dunno though. I can't really think of a reason why girl can't ask a guy out (like to coffee or a movie or whatever), even if it's just as friends.

Guess I'm not that old fashioned though. Well, actually, I am, but not in that way. I like to cook! Hardly anyone likes to cook anymore (except for those chefs on the Food Network). Everyone goes out to eat nowadays. 8(

This.

And eating out is for rich people.

[Yamamaya]

Gee thanks nate( - _ - )
so sue me,i hate seeing girls chase boys around ( >< )

but i guess you are shy,thats ok*pats on head*^^

So we must chase girls around simply because that's the way it is. Gender roles are freaking laws of the universe yo.

[Nate]

Yeah. It's more like, you wouldn't be allowed to go over to his place alone for dinner.

I can see that, yeah, not wanting to be the only two people in the house and stuff. Still, you can "be alone" without ever really being alone...which is why I mentioned restaurants, movies...places like that. You can have a nice quiet dinner alone, just the two of you, in a restaurant. You're in a public place, so you're not really ALONE, but you don't have nosy family members bothering you either, so you are for all intents and purposes alone.

but i guess you are shy,thats ok*pats on head*^^

I also have very little self-confidence and a habit of messing things up and I'm the kind of guy who would be like "I really like this girl but if I ask her out she might say no and then it would be really uncomfortable because she'd know I like her and then our friendship wouldn't be as close because she'd be weirded out and there's no way to know how she feels unless she says it but she won't so I'll just keep my mouth shut."

In fact, for me, it would pretty much be an absolute necessity for the girl to ask me out. I am not the kind of person who does stuff like that. I just don't have the guts to do it. :\

Fortunately as we leave behind the outdated gender roles of the past, I think women are becoming more assertive and there are a greater number of girls who are willing to ask out guys, which is good. I do think, in all honesty though, the guy should probably be the one to propose if a relationship gets to that point. Not that I have a problem with the girl proposing, that's fine too, it's just the guy should probably do it.

Psssh look at me, pretending I know stuff about relationships. If I knew so much you think I'd have one!

i hate seeing girls chase boys around ( >< )

Wait...girls chase boys around?! SINCE WHEN?! Where does this happen? Can you tell me some good spots? I want to be chased around! I'll even play the obligatory Benny Hill music while I'm getting chased! And then we can run into one of those hallways with like ten doors, and we keep running in and out of them, and then like...it switches so for one part I'm chasing them, and then they're chasing me again, and then like...Bigfoot or something comes out of one of the doors and chases all of us, and then we chase the Bigfoot, and then someone comes out and they're like in their underwear, and then someone else is wearing like a tuxedo...

I DEMAND TO KNOW WHERE THIS HAPPENS. THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.

[ShiroiHikari]

If girls were still "not allowed" to ask guys out, then my husband and I might not have ever gotten together, and that would be a tragedy.

Also I think it's unfair to men to place that kind of pressure on them. Why do men always have to do the initiating? Maybe they don't want to. There's nothing wrong with that.

As for the housewife thing, I am more or less a housewife and I respect women who take on that role, but they should do it because that's what they want to do, not because that's what women are "supposed" to do. Don't let your gender determine that sort of thing. Follow your dreams. And stuff.

Also, two people that are in a relationship need time alone. People act differently around their families and friends. When you're looking to marry someone, I recommend spending as much time with them ALONE as possible. If they can't respect your boundaries, then they're probably not a good candidate for a spouse. (I am assuming that the two parties are both adults; it's a bit different if you're underage.)

[Atria35]

IfAs for the housewife thing, I am more or less a housewife and I respect women who take on that role, but they should do it because that's what they want to do, not because that's what women are "supposed" to do. Don't let your gender determine that sort of thing. Follow your dreams. And stuff.

Wow- more power to you! I highly, highly respect any women who can do the housewife thing. I could never do it because I'm terrible at talking/getting to know people outside of work or classes/clubs. I would slowly go insane from lack of human interaction.

[thisiskris89]

i never said guys should chase girls,i meant they should ask girls out...i dunno...
*shuffles feet* sorry( u _ u )

[Nate]

You don't need to apologize. I'm just saying I have no self-confidence and am shy, and lack the intestinal fortitude required to ask a girl out. Heck, the only girlfriend I ever had, I didn't really ask her out (it's a bit weird how we got together...really she's the one who initiated it though).

And I wouldn't chase girls. I just want girls to chase me. Desperately. I want girls to chase after me dangit! D: But probably not literally. I'm a bad runner. Though I'm not sure why I would be running in the first place. Maybe if they were all unattractive.

[Nekomimi]

Okay, gotta represent Hawaii here: "Old-fashioned" can mean more than just the Judeo-Christian American/European culture. If you have a different ethnic background like I do, it means other things as well. "Old-fashioned" can mean "traditional", like something positive culturally, or it can mean "embarrassing" like, well, embarrassing culturally, especially in an American context XD "Old-fashioned" can mean being strong enough to retain your identity as a new immigrant, or being proud of your roots as a native Hawaiian, or learning about your family's culture and language and the hundreds of people you're related to on the island (and in at least three other countries). It can also mean you're not acclimating to America quickly enough & getting the "FOB" label slapped on you, or it can mean you're uptight about things like your grandkid/niece marrying a non-whatever-ethnicity-you-are.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I gotta say that I'm not really old-fashioned about anything, sorry. Well, except the part about being proud of where I come from & my cultural & spiritual identity, I guess that's kinda old-fashioned. Otherwise, I open doors for whoever, I go online whenever, I ask guys out (& get shot down!), I like to party at bon dances & anime conventions & church camps, I like my kanji tattoo, & boy, do I like clean running water, western toilets & electricity. If you've ever lived in a place that didn't have those, you know what I mean ;D