Earthquakes, particularly crippling fear of them
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 4:31 am
So, there was a 7.3 earthquake here in Japan tonight. Nobody was hurt, but it just kind of brought home to me just how cripplingly afraid I am of earthquakes now. Ever since last March's megaquake, not a day goes by where it doesn't in some way influence my life. These days, it's mostly the decision I make every night to wear socks to bed. That sounds stupid, but every night I get in bed barefoot, like I prefer, but as I lie there I reflect on the fact that if an earthquake renders me homeless in the middle of the night in the dead of winter I'm really gonna regret not having socks on. So I get back up and put on some socks. It could mean the difference between surviving the disaster with all my toes or not.
I just realized this happens every night.
EVERY NIGHT.
But more than that, I really have to struggle not to lie awake and worry about being trapped under rubble if an earthquake comes. I've decided the death I fear the most is a long, painful, lingering death being trapped for days under rubble until I bleed out or die of dehydration, the seconds ticking away but seeming like an eternity where I can't move, can't extricate myself, can't stop the pain of whatever's fallen onto and broken my leg, can't get a message out or tell my fiance and my family that I love them one last time... dying trapped and alone...
I'm absolutely terrified of it. So just pray that my faith will win out over my fear, I guess, because I think these are legitimate fears, especially considering where I live and what I've been through. And while I've never experienced something so bad as the building collapsing on me, I've heard what it's like from my best friend from college, who was trapped under rubble after the Joplin tornado last year in May. Happily, she and the others with her were able to escape in a matter of minutes. But in a situation like that every minute would seem like an hour. It freaks me out a lot, and the fact that it's a very real danger in my daily life is just incredibly scary.
So yeah... just pray for Japan, and pray that I don't let my fear get the best of me.
And pray for the millions of Japanese who lost somebody last year, or actually did experience the horror of being in houses that collapsed or watching people get swept away by the tsunami. Whenever I see coastal Japanese towns the tsunami footage comes back to me. I can't forget it. Pray for those people.
I just realized this happens every night.
EVERY NIGHT.
But more than that, I really have to struggle not to lie awake and worry about being trapped under rubble if an earthquake comes. I've decided the death I fear the most is a long, painful, lingering death being trapped for days under rubble until I bleed out or die of dehydration, the seconds ticking away but seeming like an eternity where I can't move, can't extricate myself, can't stop the pain of whatever's fallen onto and broken my leg, can't get a message out or tell my fiance and my family that I love them one last time... dying trapped and alone...
I'm absolutely terrified of it. So just pray that my faith will win out over my fear, I guess, because I think these are legitimate fears, especially considering where I live and what I've been through. And while I've never experienced something so bad as the building collapsing on me, I've heard what it's like from my best friend from college, who was trapped under rubble after the Joplin tornado last year in May. Happily, she and the others with her were able to escape in a matter of minutes. But in a situation like that every minute would seem like an hour. It freaks me out a lot, and the fact that it's a very real danger in my daily life is just incredibly scary.
So yeah... just pray for Japan, and pray that I don't let my fear get the best of me.
And pray for the millions of Japanese who lost somebody last year, or actually did experience the horror of being in houses that collapsed or watching people get swept away by the tsunami. Whenever I see coastal Japanese towns the tsunami footage comes back to me. I can't forget it. Pray for those people.